Monday, April 27, 2015

My Week of Chaos: 5 Kids, 1 Fetus, No Husband

By Jordana Horn, a contributing editor to Kveller

I’ll admit it: When my husband picked up his suitcase to leave to go to the Philippines for a week on business, my first impulse was not to set a good example for the five kids. Instead, I wanted to take a page out of my 1-year-old’s playbook and throw myself at my husband’s legs, yelling, “No! No! Don’t go! Take me! Don’t leave me here! I’ll do anything!”

Somehow, I refrained.

So my husband left for the other side of the planet, no doubt experiencing more tranquility in his approximately 24 hours of air travel than either he or I have felt in years. As Murphy would have it, however, back on the home front, the proverbial s--t hit the fan. And when two members of your household are incontinent, some of that s--t is not just proverbial, but literal (thankfully, it’s not yet warm enough to put on the fans).

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