How I Got My Toddler to Poo in the Potty

By Tamara Reese

We’ve all heard horror stories about potty learning. From ill-timed accidents to elaborate bribes, teaching (“training”) children how to use the potty turns even the most sensible people into frantic angry shut-ins. I bought into the hype reading “three day potty boot camp” books and prepared to sit in the bathroom with my naked kid eating salty foods, drinking water, and letting his Curious George doll pretend to pee on the toilet.

I was tired of changing diapers. Infant diapers are an inevitable part of my day, but huge man-sized turds from my 25lb toddler were driving me insane. His lanky body was awkward and unstable on public changing tables and the smell could clear a room in seconds. My blood boiled as I watched him walk behind the couch, drop a deuce in his diaper and then demand I change it immediately–or rather hiding it from me until his butthole blazed with a fiery red rash that required a teary mid-day shower.

I wanted him to put that shit in the toilet. Literally.

But learning to use the potty is more than being physically able to sit on a toilet; it is a psychological transition that if handled poorly can result in issues spanning from constipation and UTIs to genital anxiety. More so, my son learning to use the potty was not about me, what I was tired of doing, or how and when I wanted him to take control of his body.

It was about him. His body and his desire and willingness to feel and respond to it.

 Continue reading.

How a Mormon Mother Teaches Her Child to Pray

By Joyce Anderson

This post, part of our month-long series about God, is by Joyce Anderson, one of the winners of our writing contest.

I’m a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Some people call us “The Mormon.” Despite what you’ve heard, what you think about Mitt Romney, or what Broadway musicals say about us, we’re pretty normal people who just want to teach our children how to be godly in an increasingly godless world.

After my first son was born, and after the shock of motherhood started to wear off, I realized that I needed to start thinking about how I was going to teach my son about God, Heaven, Jesus Christ, and all of the other things we believe. I felt overwhelmed at the task in front of me, and I really didn’t know what to do, other than pray.

I prayed for a long time and asked the Lord for help, for direction, and for a huge clue about what I was supposed to be doing. In a very quiet moment the answer came to me like a small, heavenly whisper. “Teach him to pray. Teach him how to talk to me.” But that was only part of the answer. HOW, was my next question? How do I teach a toddler to pray? I prayed for more guidance. Again, in another quiet moment, that same heavenly whisper came and suggested I use the prayer chart from my days as a missionary. Back then we had a flip chart with scripture verses, pictures, and sayings that we would use when we would teach people about our church. One of the pages in the chart had an outline for how to say a prayer. That was it. I would use that lesson to teach my son how to pray.

 Continue reading.
 

Introducing the Kveller God Series

God on Kveller is a huge topic. Like, really huge. Many of us have a hard time figuring out just what we believe about God on our own terms. Throw a 4-year-old in there who demands answers? Yep, even harder.

Or is it? We’re devoting the next month to exploring how parents have talked to their kids about God. We’ll get stories from parents of different religions, from devout believers to atheists and everywhere in between. You’ll see posts from New Yorker editor Ben Greenman, children’s book author Laurel Snyder, a practicing Mormon, the formerly-Catholic half of an interfaith marriage, and many more parents who are currently struggling with what to tell (or not tell) their kids about God.

We’ll be rolling out one post a day on the blog, so check back here to read them all.

Among the articles you'll find are:

• I Tried to Raise a Jew & He Turned Out a Communist
• My Daughter Wants to Know Why I Pray 
• My Sons, The (Maybe) Nonbelievers  

How I Keep My Boys Entertained on Shabbat

By Mayim Bialik

Shabbat is lovely. Shabbat is 25 hours of no phone, no radio, no piano, no driving, no cooking, no TV (which I don’t watch anyway), no pressures of the outside world. You hang out with friends, eat lavish meals, nap, let your kids frolic as you get a “break,” and enjoy the synagogue of your choosing which both enlightens your soul and tantalizes your children. Unless…

Unless you live an hour’s walk from the nearest synagogue and have no friends within walking distance, in which case it’s a 25 hour test of wills: can I keep my kids happy? Entertained? Happy to be Jewish when the day seems like one long list of restrictions?

We sometimes host friends (who drive to our house) but this past Shabbat it was just us. Me and my boys. All day. No plans. Just hanging out. Both boys are fighting a horrendous cough so our usual “Shabbos walk” which takes about an hour was out of the question, as was playing ball and scootering around in the local church’s parking lot.

Here are some of the things we did to pass the glorious Sabbath day. (I try not to perform melakhot (work prohibitions) on Shabbat, so if you have any questions about the halakhic (Jewish law) propriety of any of the following, I suggest you consult with a local Rabbi and not go by my activities as any advocation of what you should or should not do; I’m doing my best and I’m still learning too!)

1. Organize. It’s one of my favorite things to do, and thank you, God, it’s something both of my sons love doing, too. We stack things that need stacking, go through boxes of miscellaneous toys and put things back where they belong. It’s a great way for kids to “rediscover” toys that had been long missing and forgotten, and it usually is good for a nice chunk of time.

Continue reading.
 

Did You Know?

Facts, Figures & Folklore about the Jewish Holiday of Shavuot

Did you know that the word Shavuot means "weeks" in Hebrew?
The name of the holiday refers to the fact that it falls exactly seven weeks, or 49 days, after the Jewish festival of Passover.

Did you know that the holiday of Shavuot commemorates the giving of the Ten Commandments to Moses on Mount Sinai?
This is the seminal event in the formation of the Jewish people.


Did you know that on Shavuot, many Jewish people stay up all night studying Torah?
This all-night vigil is linked to the morning on which the Jewish people received the Torah, when legend teachers that the Israelites overslept. In order to ensure that such a slight never happens again, Jews traditionally stay up all night on the evening of Shavuot, studying the tractates handed down to Moses the following morning.


Did you know that on Shavuot, it is customary to eat only dairy foods?
One possible explanation is related to a verse in the Torah, which says, "And He gave us this land, a land flowing with milk and honey." Cheesecake and blintzes are two traditionally favorites on Shavuot.


Did you know that many Jewish communities read the Book of Ruth during Shavuot services?
Ruth was the first convert to Judaism and reading her story is said to be a parable for wholehearted way in which the Jewish people accepted the Torah.

Lag BaOmer

WHAT IS LAG B’OMER AND WHEN DO WE CELEBRATE IT?

Every Jewish letter has a number value depending on its position in the Hebrew alphabet. The Hebrew word lag is written with the Hebrew letters lamed and gimmel which, together, have a nember value of 33. Thus Lag baOmer means 'the 33rd [day] in the Omer'. This always works out to be on the 18th day of the Hebrew month Iyar.

Lag baOmer is a joyous holiday. On Lag baOmer we remember two important events: the end of a plague of sickness which had killed 24,000 students of the famous Rabbi Akiva and also the death of a brilliant student of Rabbi Akiva's, Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai.

THE STORY OF LAG BAOMER

Over 2,000 years ago an army of Romans invaded Israel and destroyed the second Holy Temple in Jerusalem. The Romans were cruel to the Jewish people and wouldn't let them study or teach the Torah. However, some brave and very clever rabbis refused to obey the Roman rules and taught Torah in secret.

One famous rabbi named Akiva continued to teach his students lessons from the Torah. The Romans heard about Rabbi Akiva and began to look for him. So Akiva thought of a way to protect himself and his students while still teaching Torah.

He told his students to carry bows, arrows and picnic lunches. Then the students should go to the fields. It would look like they were there to hunt, not study with the rabbi. When the Roman soldiers saw the Jews going out to hunt they let them pass. But each day when the students reached the fields Rabbi Akiva met them and they would learn and study together.

WHO WAS RABBI AKIVA?

Before becoming a rabbi, Akiva was a poor shepherd who married a woman named Rachel. She convinced him to study and he became a very learned and well-respected rabbi.

Rabbi Akiva and his students (dressed up as hunters) would go to a cave deep in the woods and there they would study Torah.

WHO WAS RABBI SHIMON BAR YOCHAI?

Continue reading.  

How to Talk to Your Kids About God

Most young children have some concept of God. It is important to respond to their questions with sophistication and honesty.

By Rabbi David Wolpe

Most young children have some concept of God. It is important to respond to their questions with sophistication and honesty.

By Rabbi David Wolpe

Even parents who tell their children that they can ask them about "anything" often change the subject when children ask about God.

And they do ask.

"Who are God's parents?" "If God is so powerful, why doesn't God stop bad things from happening?" "Does God hear my prayers?" The questions are legion. In essence, they are the same questions that parents ask, although in another form. But they are questions we must address. After all, who among us is satisfied to give our children an intellectual, but not a spiritual education?

Our answers to these questions guide our children's view of the universe. What do we wish them to believe, that they are accidents of ancient chemistry or sparks of the divine? Whatever one's philosophy on these matters, we owe our children an honest and searching discussion.

Talking to children about God is a key component of their sense of self. Children are taught that they are important, but why are they important? Ask your children why they matter. I have asked thousands of children "why are you important." The usual answers are "I get good grades, I am good at sports, I have a nice job/boyfriend/girlfriend, my parents love me." All these answers spell trouble, because they are all based on something human, and everything human can change. Are we always going to be the brightest in the class, or have that boyfriend or feel our parents' love? Do you really want your child's self-esteem to be based on your emotional constitution? Is there no unvarying basis for self-worth?

Continue reading.