Me, My Adopted Sons, and Our War with Food

Dr. Gary Matloff for Kveller.com

I’ll never forget the explosive temper tantrum my oldest son, at 12 years old, had only a couple of months after I adopted him and his younger brother. I innocently thought we’d skip lunch in favor of a quick snack and an early dinner out on the road. He wasn’t happy with this decision, and the language barrier between us proved detrimental, with his still having trouble beginning to learn English. Without being able to quickly communicate my thoughts and intentions that might have reassured him, his deepest, most suppressed fears took a life of their own. It wasn’t until a desperate drive through at a nearby McDonald’s, where he began to devour the contents of the Happy Meal he firmly held on his lap, did he begin to calm down.

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The Real Reason I Didn’t Have a Baby Shower

Ilana Kurshan for Kveller

A pregnant friend recently asked me whether or not she ought to have a baby shower. “My mother-in-law really wants to make me one. I know that Jews are not supposed to do those kinds of things, but why not? Is it just about superstition?”

I thought about her question. Why do many Jews not have baby showers? Yes, there is the superstitious fear of the evil eye, namely that celebrating the baby before it is born would attract the attention of dark spirits, who would mark the baby for disaster. Jewish superstitions go back very far–in the Talmud, for instance, the sages speak of a very real fear of doing anything in even numbers because pairs were considered demonic; this fear led the rabbis to question how we can possibly drink four cups of wine at the Pesach seder, a practice that no one thinks twice about today. Indeed, many of the superstitions that may have plagued our great-grandmothers in the shtetl seem to have fallen away. Why then should we not turn a blind eye to the evil eye and have that baby shower after all?

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Why Preschool is the Most Important School of All

Risa Sugarman for Kveller

What’s the big deal with preschool, anyway? Adorable 3, 4, and 5-year-olds frolic, play, and learn, but why is there such a big emphasis on it these days? I see it through interactions with other parents, as we ask each other where we send our preschoolers. I also see it floating through social media with different posts about the importance of what is learned in preschool.

I’ll tell you why: Preschool just may be the best form of education offered today. And I even wish some adults, including myself, could get in on the action.

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What They Never Tell You About Being a Mom

Shaindy Urman for Kveller

If she’s anything like me, one day my daughter will Google the people she cares about. And I hope–as she’s scrolling and searching through as many stories as she can about those dear people in her life–I hope she will find this.

Because as much as she thinks she knows how big of a space she holds in my heart, there are some things you can never fully know until you become “Mom.”

You think you know what you’re getting into when you’re trying to get pregnant. You dream in blues and pinks and your thoughts become those of colorful onesies and elegant strollers, miniscule socks and gorgeous nurseries, gifts and well wishes and a fabulous baby shower.

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